Awareness Creates Choice
The First Thought Isn't Always the Truth
I’ve found myself reflecting lately on something very human: how quickly our minds can move toward the negative.
Being in a relatively new relationship has given me an unexpected mirror for some of my own patterns. There is something about allowing another person to really see us—and allowing ourselves to care deeply—that can invite us to look a little more closely at ourselves too.
Sometimes I notice how quickly the mind can take a simple comment, a change in tone, or an ambiguous moment and begin creating a story around it.
What did that mean?
Was something wrong?
Was that criticism?
And I've become curious about that space between what actually happened and what my mind decided it meant.
Psychology calls part of this our negativity bias.
The human brain is particularly attentive to potential threats.
From a survival perspective, noticing danger mattered more than noticing something pleasant. And our modern nervous system can still perform that same little safety check—even when the perceived "danger" is simply a facial expression, a tone of voice, or a few unexpected (or lack of) words from someone we care about.
Interestingly, ancient wisdom traditions were exploring our relationship with these patterns long before modern psychology gave them names.
In yoga and Vedantic philosophy, we encounter the idea of samskaras—impressions left by our previous experiences—and vrittis, the movements and patterns of the mind.
We aren't always experiencing only what is happening now. Sometimes we're experiencing the present through everything we've learned, feared, loved, lost, or experienced before.
The yogic concept of avidya also invites us to consider the possibility of misperception: that what we believe we are seeing may not be the entirety of what is actually there.
Buddhist philosophy offers a similar invitation through mindfulness: notice what arises without immediately attaching ourselves to it.
A thought arises.
A feeling follows.
A story begins.
But we don't necessarily have to follow the story.
And perhaps that's where the practice really begins.
Awareness creates choice.
The first thought may be automatic.
The second thought can be curious.
Is that actually what happened?
Or is that simply one interpretation?
What else might be true?
For me, this isn't about replacing every negative thought with a positive one. That can become another form of avoidance, and exhausting.
It's about becoming curious enough to recognize the difference between what happened, what I felt, and the story I created about it.
And relationships can be extraordinary mirrors for this.
Sometimes another person doesn't create what's within us.
They simply give us an opportunity to see it.
And when we're willing to look—not with judgment, but with curiosity—we're given another opportunity to understand ourselves a little more deeply.
Personal growth isn't about reaching a place where the first negative thought never appears.
It's about learning not to automatically believe everything the mind tells us.
To notice.
To become curious.
To choose our response.
And then, when necessary, to simply ask rather than assume.
The first thought may be conditioned. What happens next can be conscious.
💛Awareness creates choice.
Comments